The Maestro’s 2009 NFL Picks & Predictions

Well, I’m typing out this blog post at 8:55 PM on Thursday, September 10, 2009 - the Steelers & Titans have each had the ball twice, and the NFL season is officially game on!!! What better time than now for all of you denizens of the blogosphere to feast on The Maestro’s full-season prognostications?!?!

2009 AFC Division Winners: Titans, Chargers, Patriots, Steelers
2009 AFC Wild Card Teams: Colts, Ravens

No big shockers here. There just doesn’t seem to be any positive buzz surrounding the rest of the squads in the AFC. With Tom Brady & Shawne Merriman healthy, the Patriots and Chargers should meet in the AFC Championship, and despite Norv Turner’s worst intentions, Philip Rivers & LT will get San Diego to the Super Bowl…

Other AFC Notes: Peyton Manning will struggle a bit with a weak offensive line - he may even get hurt and (gasp) miss a game or two. Miami will fall back to the pack this year, and the ‘Wildcat’ formation will prove to be a quickly fading fad (fingers crossed). Following in the footsteps of Romeo Crennel, Charlie Weis, and Eric Mangini, Scott Pioli in Kansas City & Josh McDaniels in Denver will once again prove that the fruit falls very, very far from the Bill Belichick tree.

2009 NFC Division Winners: Eagles, Saints, Packers, Seahawks
2009 NFC Wild Card Teams: Falcons, Vikings

The power has clearly shifted to the NFC. With Jay Cutler, Albert Haynesworth, Tony Gonzalez, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, and Brett Favre jumping ship, the AFC looks a bit thin – no offense, Kyle Orton. Some really good teams (Giants, Cardinals, Bears) will be on the outside looking in. Look for the Eagles and Packers in the NFC Championship; “The Redemption Bowl” will feature Aaron Rodgers & Green Bay triumphing over Michael Vick & Philly.

Other NFC Notes: Favre will be a monumental headache for Minnesota; they’ll get into the playoffs as a Wild Card only because of Adrian Peterson & a solid defensive unit. Dallas will need a major overhaul (See ya, Wade Phillips! Bye, Roy Williams! You’re on notice, Tony Romo!) after a mediocre season. The NFC West will still be unbelievably weak when compared to the other three divisions. Tampa Bay will edge Detroit and St. Louis for worst record in the conference.

Super Bowl: Chargers over Packers
MVP: Philip Rivers edges Aaron Rodgers and Adrian Peterson

As always, comments and criticisms are welcome - remember to watch our weekly picks throughout the season on YouTube, kids!!!

The Maestro’s Fantasy Football Preview 2009

Down through the years, through cable access television & YouTube & now blogs, the other members of the extended “Sports Frenzy” family have been merciless in their ridicule of The Maestro and his proclivity to play fantasy sports. However, those of you out there who partake of the bittersweet nectar that is fantasy football (or baseball or NASCAR or shuffleboard) know that it’s a beguiling elixir that can elicit endless joy or bring about profound depression. Just remember to indulge in moderation, kids...

So, without further ado (and without any more melodramatic metaphors), let’s look at some 2009 sleepers and overrated duds in each major NFL category, shall we?

Quarterbacks: Sleepers - Matt Schaub, Texans (Gary Kubiak’s in a make-or-break year as head coach & there’s nobody even close to Schaub on the depth chart); Sage Rosenfels, Vikings (looking more and more like the starter, has All-Day as his RB and some good young receivers)
Duds - Marc Bulger, Rams (a one-year wonder a few years removed, has nobody to throw to); Matt Cassel (no Tony Gonzalez, hasn’t proven himself worthy of huge contract yet)

Running Backs: Sleepers - Ryan Grant, Packers (why is his short holdout LAST season affecting his value THIS season?); Brandon Jacobs, Giants (Derrick Ward isn’t around to steal his touches this year); Ray Rice, Ravens (will rack up yardage as he puts McGahee on the bench, but McClain may swipe some TDs)
Duds - Anybody stuck in a ‘running back by committee’ situation (Carolina, Oakland, Tampa Bay, Tennessee, Indianapolis)

Wide Receivers: Sleepers - Marques Colston, Saints (he’ll come back with a vengeance this season, mark my words); Anthony Gonzalez, Colts (takes over for Marvin Harrison as one of Peyton Manning’s ‘Three Amigos’ with Wayne & Clark); Nate Washington, Titans (might be the weapon Kerry Collins needs); Domenik Hixon, Giants (Eli has to find his new Plaxico)
Duds - Denver receivers (that means you, Brandon Marshall & Eddie Royal); Roy Williams (another brilliant Jerry Jones acquisition…note sarcasm); Calvin Johnson (yes, he may be the best of all the Lions first-round receivers from the last decade, but Matthew Stafford needs some time to figure the pro game out before he can make CJ’s stats more impressive)

Tight Ends: Sleepers - Greg Olsen, Bears (two words...Jay Cutler); Kellen Winslow Jr., Tampa Bay (yes, despite all the issues, I still believe)
Duds - Todd Heap, Ravens (if a rookie QB won’t throw you the ball as an ‘elite’ tight end, your productive days are officially over); Jason Witten, Cowboys (will still be solid but fewer options at WR for Dallas means defenses will key on him more often)

Kickers: Sleepers - Jason Elam, Falcons (yes, he’s old but young Matt Ryan & the Atlanta offense will only get better this year, especially with a happy...and rich...Roddy White and new TE acquisition Tony Gonzalez on board)
Duds - Matt Prater, Denver (Cutler for Orton swap means less opportunities)

Defense/STs: Sleepers - New York Jets (Rex Ryan will make the D solid & Leon Washington’s always a return threat); San Diego Chargers (weak division plus Merriman’s healthy & Darren Sproles is still around); Green Bay (Dom Capers will help A.J. Hawk & company achieve their potential)
Duds - Chicago Bears (NFC Central is getting better offensively & secondary is extremely weak); Tampa Bay Buccaneers (iffy offense will lose time of possession battle every week, and the defense will wear down quickly)

There you go, people…save me a brew at your celebratory late December victory bash!!!